And I Fail Yet Again

If there are 2 words I can use to describe what I'm feeling right now it's bloated and guilty.  So I'm on my period and I always use that to justify why I eat more than I should but now that I've changed up my diet I should have resisted.  Of course, knowing me, I tried to come up with the most reasons to binge.  I counted today as the fourth day of since the saltwater flush so I figured reason number 2 was that I needed to keep my body informed of its regular duties.  Reason number 3 was that I needed to clear some of the food out of the fridge to make it seem like I was still eating normally.  And my last and probably worst reason yet was that I was walking around San Francisco on Friday and there was a lot of walking going on so I did some exercise.

Talk about pathetic.  When did I get it in my head that it was alright for me to eat or even have a day where I could eat what I wanted too.  If there is any progress to be made around here, then I need to keep myself under control.  self control can last more than 3 days.  I will prove it to myself and everyone else.  I can be skinny again because I want it that bad.  If there is one thing I have failed at and I know I can succeed at it's at this.  There is no reason for me to fail.  Food is the enemy and it can be conquered.  It's been done many times before and I will be another person to conquer said foe.

Moving on to better news, I spent my Friday at the Amoeba Records in Berkeley and in San Francisco and scored on a fuck ton of new CDs.  You can't go wrong with Amoeba because most of the CDs there are sometimes said but also very cheap.  A totally bargain that is definitely worth the trip to Haight Street.  Amoeba boasts a great and very extensive collection of music in not only CDs but also in LPs which I meant to grab a few of but I still haven't figured out how to use my record player. =/

In even greater news, I found great celebrity thinspiration for myself.  I think she was always somewhere in the back of my mind as some of the influence for my choice along with Keira Knightley and Nicole Richie.  Of course my muse is closer to my age and therefore forces me to see that there really is no reason for me to be so fat.  Thank the gods for letting me find Kristen Stewart and images from her Elle 2007 photoshoot.  Thank god for that. =]