So I'm kinda back after a short hiatus in which I became completely immersed in LiveJournal but I'm sort of back and I wrote this in class today. Excuse the typos I'm too lazy.

it always bothers me when people eat. i don't know why.  especially when fat people eat. i don't know what it is. i feel bad sometimes. the truth is it's true i guess. people don't think about what they put in their mouths and now that i've let my eating disorder run wild, i notice it all the time.  it's even more discouraging when skinny girls eat shit. how could you do that to yourself? you've been blessed with a perfect body. why ruin it?? that just seems so stupid to me. heavy girls with boyfriends freak me out too.  especially when it's skinny boyfriends. are these guys blind? or are they just too mature to even care about image. that's bullshit.  no one can love a fat girl because there's not enough love to cover her whole goddamned body.  retarded i tell you.  and all this shit about there being "more of you to love" or that people "love you just the way you are" or for "your personality" ... completely out of whack.  those are reserved for fat girls only.  i never want to hear it again. i want people to ask if i'm losing weight or say that i look great or skinny. i would love that.  i would finally love me.